Saturday, October 31, 2015


A young man (how young was hard to tell from his huge beard, the you-can-hide-a-bird-in-it kind) just asked me if I was a teacher because "you look a lot like a teacher I once had." 

Once? WTF?!

It's good then that this week I was already called a "girl" a few times or else I don't know how I could swallow the teacher thing without choking. "Young at heart" is a catchy slogan but, seriously, does anyone really buy it? 


Maybe the reason I love music the way I do is because it always tells me it will be OK. You might as well say, and if you do it will be quite correct, that music is my knight on a white horse. Never overlook the soundtrack.

True or false?

The Lavazza slip for today:

"Wherever you are
  Whoever you are
  Whatever you have...
  There will always be something missing"

True... I guess. The trick is to accept it.

Sunday, October 25, 2015


Some time ago I clicked on a link that appeared on my FB wall. Was it a suggested post, or a post liked by a friend? I don't recall but it opened the letter Alain Delon has written as a farewell to Romy Schneider upon her death. I bookmarked it to read it now and then. It's heartbreaking. It's so beautiful it hurts. It makes me think that I don't know a thing about love. It makes me jealous every time I read it - not maliciously jealous, just sad-jealous because I know that no one will ever feel that way about me. You can't buy true love so I guess true love must be a gift then, a gift that is not meant for everyone. And I think that it's sad to go through life and missing on an emotion so deep. I think that the more you experience while you're alive the less reluctant you will be to leave it when the time for that comes because there will be less to regret. Or so it seems to me now. That letter makes me sad because it shows a world the door to which may never open for me. Beauty, whatever shape and mean it comes in, always makes me a bit sad because it doesn't come around much and is even less appreciated and fast forgotten. And it is beauty that makes life worth liv… worth, period. I mean, the world is cruel enough as it is and without beauty it would be completely unbearable.

Saturday, October 24, 2015


There are three bands I really want to see live; all of them are currently on tour, all of them have European dates. Guess how many of them are coming to Bulgaria? 

Magic, thy name is music

Music is the only real magic there is. And, although I don't believe in anything else, in this I believe unconditionally. When there is nothing else, when there are no helping hands, when truth is not to be trusted and everything is falling apart music will fill the nothingness, and music will comfort the loneliness, and music will show new horizons, and music will get you back up again. It's magic.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Let the waiting begin now

A teaser tweet to keep the suspense:

I know better than to rush with the excitement. It's not like it will be news about a new album and a new tour so... It's probably about changing his hair color again anyway :) However, teasing is always better than nothing. But then again anything is better than nothing.

EDIT: I knew the news would be of no interest for me – it’s a VyRT announcement. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Tricky treats

Apparently my favorite café takes Halloween very seriously :) And that's why I love it here so much - because they know that the nonserious matters just as much. My kind of people ;)

It occurred to me that I like Halloween because it's nothing like Christmas - just to begin with, and that's enough a good reason.

#orange #cat #tranquility

I can't help it (but then again it has never even occurred to me to try) - if there's a cat I have to take a picture. 

Isn't he beautiful? People were marching back and forth right in front of him and he couldn't care less. Cats might not many things people think they are but they unquestionably are the true zen masters.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

A dream

I had this weird dream:

I was at home. I heard a noise outside the front door, I opened it and there was a puppy who ran towards me as if he had seen his saviour (and, basically, that's how it was). I thought "OK, this is it. Now I have to adopt you." And as I took him in my arms I saw that behind the puppy there stood two little kids, 4 or 5 years old. They looked dirty, ragged and neglected. I knew no one was going to look for them, I knew they were completely alone. And I thought "Oh shit! OK, it is as it is. I will adopt you too." And I let them all in. At that point I woke up feeling very disturbed and in panic. But if it were to happen for real I would probably do exactly as I did in my dream.

So please, can I next time dream about adopting a dozen of puppies? Dogs I can handle - with love and care. Humans... Let's say I have mixed feelings about humans. 

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Just another day

I would really love to watch a documentary about...fandom. Sure, it is not the most profound subject there is but it is something a lot of people, almost everyone can relate to on a very personal, even intimate level. There are numerous documentaries on climate change, endangered species, atrocities of war and so on - all of these extremely serious and unquestionably important. But, and let us be honest about it, it is in the nature of people not to get involved unless the trouble doesn't take place in their living rooms. People would watch these documentaries and forget about them 10 minutes later because it is always about something that happens very, very far away to a handful of people they have never met and never will. And this is not an accusation, it's how it is. The reason or one of the reasons could be the information overload that the people of today are suggested to. The second something wrong happens and it's in the news. The problem is that too much wrong happens, all the time, everywhere. And you kind of... get use to it. It's no news anymore, it's just something that happens every day. Tragedy became trivial.

That is why I think it's not such a bad idea to explore lighter subjects as well and thus remind people that there is more to life than this.

Beauty in grey

This is the ultimate cat - grey fur, green eyes, pink nose. Perfection. Years ago I had a tomcat who looked like that. I loved him immensely. Ever since I am trying to find him in every cat that I see.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Everyday anew

Shortly after "Love, lust, faith and dreams" tour ended officially Jared Leto announced his next project: the "Beyond the horizon" series.

And this is what it is about:

"AOL BUILD, a live interview platform, announced the launch of a brand-new type of series with “Beyond the Horizon” from Jared Leto. The series focuses on the future of humanity with some of the world’s most interesting visionaries in science, art, technology and politics. The series will stream on"

Needless to say, I am very (to put it mildly) curious to watch it but for the time being that is not possible. The first episode is an interview with Deepak Chopra. I have heard that name over the years and that's as far as it goes. I know zero about that man or his work so the least I could do was to google him. The first link I opened were his "Seven spiritual laws of success". Yeah. I am fully aware how that sounds which is basically why I was completely unfamiliar with his work. 

I read them, the seven laws. Hmm, what do you know... It turned out there's nothing in there that I don't already do. The man has given shape and name to what I didn't know was already my personal philosophy - at following which I fail now and then, of course, but it is always there to point the way back when I slip.

Interesting. And there is nothing more to it. It is just that - interesting from a strictly personal point of view. However, it feels...well, reassuring to be backed by someone so renowned.

All that doesn't come to say that my work is done. Only death can do that. Until then..." it's a brave new world " everyday. Everyday anew.

Friday, October 09, 2015


"Hello? Will you take me to the airport, Terminal 2?"

"Sure! flydubai?"

"No, fly home."

I was going through the documents saved on my phone and found this. It's from September 27, a few hours before my flight from Dubai to Sofia. 

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Sense of autumn

He looked like he could use a hug. 
Unfortunately the door was closed. It would've made no difference anyway. Winter is still coming.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015


I think it is healthy to be weak now and then, to be displeased with aspects of you. It keeps you grounded – or else you might start to believe you are superior to other people.

Or maybe it’s just a lame excuse trying to look smart. I guess it's up to the personal preferences - some pay attention to the have's and other - to the have not's. It could as well be up to which side of the bed you woke up to. Life People I can be such a mess.

As always the truth (if there is such) is probably somewhere in between.

"What is the origin and meaning of your name"

I knew that "vera" is a Slavonic word that in old Bulgarian and in Russian language means "faith". This interpretation suits me as well.

I tried it for fun with the names of a few friends and yes, fun it was :)

Sunday, October 04, 2015

Fever or no fever?

That awkward moment when it feels like you're on the verge of a crucial spiritual breakthrough...and it turns out it was just the flu medicine that made your mind dizzy. What the hell do they put in those pills? 

I'm only halfway through my chocolate cake but even thinking about taking another bite makes me nauseous - a definite proof that I'm seriously sick.

Dubai flashbacks

Dubai was a unique experience. How could it be any different - it was a place, culture and customs that my only touch with, prior to my visit, has been random, 2-dimensional and impersonal. I only had two days so I saw... not much - just this and that and, besides, I took it slowly, the last thing I wanted was to run around like crazy on a sightseeing spree. When at a new place it is the atmosphere that I need to feel, I want to have a taste of what you can't get from Internet. The scale of everything in Dubai is, by all means, impressive - too impressive that is - at some point it starts to seem overwhelming and even intimidating. So what I remember from Dubai the most is the interaction with people. Some episodes stuck in my mind.

I stopped at a coffee shop:
"- Small Americano and two oat cookies, please."
"- OK. Your eyes!"
"- What about my eyes?"
"-They are beautiful!"
"- ?!?!?"

On the day of the concert at the Dubai world trade center:
I rushed to the ladies' room ( under these circumstances you don't go there in a relaxed manner, you always rush because you never know how much time you have). Of course, afterwards I washed my hands and, as I stood there with my hands wet, I tried to locate where the paper tissues where but there were none so I used the hand dryer. The whole time, between the sinks and the hand dryer, stood a girl who was obviously working there as a cleaner. She was not more than twenty years of age, maybe from India or Pakistan judging by her facial features, wearing a head scarf that covered her head and neck. She must have noticed my searching look because, without saying a word, she approached me, in a rather shy manner, and handed me some unwrapped toilet paper. I thanked her and rushed out. Three hours later I returned and she was still there. And this time, when I went to the sinks to wash hands she was already prepared with unwrapped toilet paper to give me the moment I was done washing. It was really, and I mean really strange because there were over a dozen girls there but she was obviously waiting for me - she had her eyes fixed on me, she didn't look at anyone else, and the way she was looking at me sounds crazy but she was looking at me with something that resembled adoration (why?!). I wiped my hands with the toilet paper and smiled at her as brightly as I could. "Thank you!" And her face lit up. I still have no idea what to make of it but the whole scene was really moving!

Friday, October 02, 2015


The Q and A part of Dubai ARTIFACT screening was a lot of fun – as expected :)

Jared to a guy sitting a couple of rows behind:
“Is that a Batman T-shirt you’re wearing? That’s very brave of you!”

Jared to a girl wearing a T-shirt that said 'Mrs. Leto':
“Be careful what you wish for. I’m very demanding.”

I am going to miss this so much. Did I say 'going'? I miss it already.

Hmm, I just remembered something else he said at that meeting. He asked: “How many of you are not happy with their job?” There were some hands raised (mine included). And he went on: “Quit. Quit now. Life is too short anyway.” I can't get that out of my mind.