Have mercy on us and post those dates will’ya?

A couple of weeks ago (Aug 16th according to nin.e-lopo.com) many more dates were added to the ongoing North American tour and right there at the bottom of the announcement stood those few words:

(those of you outside North America, have faith… you never know what could happen!)

My heart jumped because it was exactly the spark needed to keep my hopes burning. Europe is not the only continent outside North America and, yes, I haven’t forgotten that a year ago TR left Europe pretty pissed but I can’t help to check nin.com for updates at least 50 times a day but so far there’s not a word about the 2009 tour plans and that is killing me because I might not know what could happen but my imagination…there is no force to put on the brakes on my imagination :) Wishful thinking is what I am very good at. Whishes do come true sometimes and I have lots of memories to back that up.

Nothing is perfect

I was looking for the truth, the absolute truth, the answer to everything. It had to be something simple because all most important things are very simple, so simple that very few people can understand them because everybody assumes that if something is very important it has to be thus very elaborate but in fact it’s the opposite. I was looking for the absolute truth for years because I was presuming it existed but to no avail and that was making me restless. And now I realize that there isn’t such a thing as “an absolute truth”…and all of a sudden I feel at peace.

But that peace came with a price-my feelings.

“God I’ve created a monster”

"Immortal memory"

and Lisa Gerrard’s heavenly voice:

Maturing?

It’s truly irritating to swing between extreme moods-from being completely content with myself to being completely convinced that I am a worthless piece of shit. At least now I’m not making a drama in the latter case. That’s a nice change.

203,423/250,000

I just received a neat package from Amazon - “The Slip” on a physical CD. Fanship oblige :)

Clarity

There are billions of words written on the elusive subject of happiness. A piece of advice from my own experience: lose your ego. Once you get rid off it almost nothing can hurt you because the “you” is no longer there to be hurt. It is a scary thing to let go your pride-to most people that would mean to sacrifice their identity and precious uniqueness. It’s definitely not a win-win decision but one must make one’s mind about what’s more important. It’s a classic case of receiving by giving; something that you feel in your guts is true but impossible to explain to someone else. All that rubbish about becoming one with the universe…huh, what do you know, it turned out not to be rubbish. Who knew…

Rushing is unnecessary, power is overrated. People think that to be in control is the key to a successful life. What a delusion. The more you have the more there is to worry about.

So much time wasted…oh, well, then it had to go that way I guess.

I am not a nationalist. Not I.

Outrageous! I read it and I still can’t cope with it!

Let’s turn the clock backwards to the starting point. The places where I go to have a cappuccino and to spend a few peaceful hours usually offer a variety of magazines for the customers to read. Today I chose the July’s edition of Bulgaria’s English monthly VAGABOND. The name speaks for itself-it’s a magazine for the foreigners visiting or living in Bulgaria and, as far as I understand, its purpose is to help them adapt to Bulgarian customs. It is also a forum for foreigners to share their experience and views of Bulgarian lifestyle. Now, I do realize that to someone coming from a far more developed country Bulgaria (not might but surely) will seem chaotic, outdated and even barbarian but to read the statement that *quote* “Bulgarians are a nation of racists with a burning hatred towards the Roma population and the Turks. Racism starts at an early age in Bulgaria” *end of quote* is too much of a bite for me to swallow. I don’t mean to show some phoney patriotism but such a statement is too extreme and simply not true to my account. Everybody is entitled of a personal opinion but to put it in a magazine that targets mostly foreigners and thus to create a misleading impression is a completely different story. Is that how foreigners really see us?! I doubt it. There will (hopefully) always be cultural differences but it should be clear to everyone that a racist sign sprayed on a wall is a work of a single sick mind and should not be taken as the voice of the nation. Even I am irritated by my fellow-countrymen and their lack of enthusiasm to put some efforts into making their own country a better place but labeling Bulgaria as a “nation of racists” is a harmful exaggeration. That article made me feel like a tourist in my own country. This isn’t Bulgaria as I know it.

P.S. When I was growing up our neighbours were Turks. Their eldest son taught me to ride a bicycle. They were the sweetest people.

Why are people so obsessed with nationality?!

Nine Inch Nails Live @ Lollapalooza - Chicago, IL, 8.03.08

Duh!