Friday, March 23, 2007


I've got a ticket for the March 24th concert !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At the Amsterdam show yesterday there was a Canadian girl who has been so far to...26 NIN concerts !
Lucky girl...

March 22nd 2007, Paradiso, Amsterdam

amazing !!!

Everything hurts, I'm tired, dirty, but when I think of last night a big grin lightens my face. Now I can say - yes, it was worth it !

And I'm still alive :)))

P.S. A huge thanks to Dan without whose support it wouldn't have been the same. I am so lucky to have met you ! I wish you were comming with me to Berlin.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 last

I keep telling myself it's all worth far to no avail. I'm frightened as hell.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Myspace discoveries

Not mine really. All credits go to LOG1N – I saw them among his myspace friends and impudently snatched them. Thanks for the tip !



Totally different, totally amazing, totally unknown.

To that one -
sandeep, I am not sending an adding request...yet. But I want to keep the link to their profile in case I change my mind. The music is beautiful yet so far away from what I usually listen to.

All that could have been

All that could have been is not to be regretted for because if it had been then all that has really been wouldn’t have happened. I hope my meaning can still be seen through the tense mess. The point is it’s not about losing but gaining and getting. All that could have been appeals better simply because by default it remains an unfulfilled dream, an ultimate fantasy. When there are choices to choose from there’s a place for that ugly oppressing feeling of being cheated because you can put all the choices to a test and there will always be something missed. The trick is to learn to let go all the might-have-beens; the trick is to choose living in the real world and enjoy what you already have.

Basically I would agree with me…if it wasn’t for the madness of the last few days that I managed to survive by hiding in my fantasies pretending the reality is just a bad dream that has gone a little bit too far. There were(and still are) so many things I had to do and so many things I wanted to do: some blog writing, answering to comments and PMs from The Spiral, keeping up with threads on The Spiral and ETS, working on my myspace profile, meeting some 3-dimentional friends etc etc etc...and I have no energy nor strength to do any of it. I’m dead tired.

I hadn’t been listening to the 5 YZ leaks for days-no time. And I missed them so much as if they were long gone dear friends. In a way that is true. And the lyrics...they speak to me now; I don't have words to tell how glad that makes me feel.

No particular reason for placing that image here – I just like to look at it.

Monday, March 12, 2007

So, I'm the fool

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think What a fool. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world. In many tribal cultures, those born with strange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand. The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real.

Take this quiz!

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Saturday, March 10, 2007

This morning

I wanted to add Jah Wobble to the list of my “myspace friends” and I sent a request but then I went back to viewing his profile and there it was : “Jah Wobble has 0 friends” because “I’m sorry but I won’t be accepting ‘friends’. I’m uneasy with the term friend being used as a form of collateral. A friend is someone who you come to know and trust and break bread with and all that. If you think that’s a pathetically old fashioned view that’s ok with me, no problem. It is not my intention to cause offence or anything. I wasn’t even going to have a myspace page but then someone (with the best of intentions) started one using my name without asking. That has the potential to lead to all sorts of problems, so we asked them to stop and then started this page. If you have an interest in my music and what I’m up to then hopefully this page will be of use.”. Such a pity; to my taste he’s an amazing talent, absolutely unique. I’m making me a friends treasure nest at myspace. Why do all those brilliant musicians add me I do not care(I know it is probably because it looks cooler to have 50000 than 500 friends). But thus I don’t have to look for their profiles when I need to; now they are a click away.

Myspace is addictive; and very useful indeed. Yesterday I discovered a D’n’B French musician named Vincent aka Gabinoo aka LOG1N whose music is so unexpectedly astonishing; Above all his site looks amazing and so does his myspace profile.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

USB fun continues

Last night Survivalism video found on USB drives. The video was discovered in both high resolution (164mb) and low resolution (26mb) formats.

I must confess I didn’t like Survivalism at first. I didn’t like it the second time either. But I kept on listening to it and now…



Bow down before the one you serve

And the video has nothing to do with it. Although I’m thrilled with it-great work; pity I won’t get to see it on MTV.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


I'm trying to fit it all inside
I'm trying to open my mouth wide
I'm trying not to choke inside
I am a good boy and I will swallow it all

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

NIN spotting

I saw “Man on fire” a couple of days ago. And I was truly amazed…to hear extracts from “The mark has been made”, “The Frail” and “The Art Of Self Destruction”-part 1. At first I was delighted by that. At first…because I’m not happy with the way they were used in the movie. TAOSD as an illustration of an attempted suicide…TMHBM as a background of one of the most brutal scenes in the whole movie…; to listen to those beloved sounds while Denzel Washington is cutting someone’s fingers one by one…why ?!

За Sveti

Специален пост за специален човек. Не ме питай защо мисля така; просто го знам и в отговор само ще свия рамене. Нещо не ми се говори в последно време, по-точно-не ми се обяснява, защото ми се струва, че всичко е ясно и може да се разбира само по един начин. Пък то се оказва, че не е така...anyway.
Никаква конкретна причина за този пост...освен тази да го видиш, защото е извинение, че оставих последния ти коментар неотговорен.-хем толкова ме зарадва дори само това, че ми писа, но после се залутах по познати пътеки(оказа се, че ги намерих лесно; старите навици привличат), времето си мина, остана ми тегавост за лошо поведение...извинявай; много е вероятно да ти е все едно и това ще си е в реда на нещата най-малкото защото правила за това няма и всеки има правото да си ги подрежда според собствения си вкус и потребности. Само не разбрах за какво (мъничко) ми завиждаш. Тази история, макар и не с тези думи, я разказвах много пъти на различни хора. Всеки следващ път мислех, че няма да имам думи за още един преразказ, но се лъжех-сякаш пак преживявах всичко и беше очевидно, че слушателите ми са впечатлени от емоцията, която влагам. Не мога да знам кое е вярното-аз ли преувеличавам неимоверно всичко в главата си или наистина не всеки има късмет да открие своето си нещо, което да му дава поне илюзията, че живее няколко живота наведнъж. Повечето ми завиждаха точно за това.

Monday, March 05, 2007


I apologize for postponing the show tonight in Birmingham - I simply have to not sing for a couple of days. Please know I do not make this decision lightly and I am sorry for the inconvenience. See you again soon,


Get well soon.


Guess who is my "Top friend" on myspace ? :))))))))

Yeah, they have 50000 friends and probably who ever is responsible for it clicks on the “Add” button without even checking who’s requested it. Still it made me happy.

Morning song

Everybody Loves You (When You're Dead) by COP SHOOT COP

Everybody loves you when you're dead
And everyone is suddenly you're dearest friend
Nobody talks no dirt about you
But life it just goes on above your head
When you're dead
Everybody miss you when you're gone
They'll reminisce about you
When they hear your favorite song
They'll think that they said something wrong
They'll wonder if there was something they shoud've said
When you're gone
And I'm never gonna tell a lie
And I'm never gonna wear a tie
And I'm never gonna say goodbye
Life is so much better when you're dead
Conversation's easy when there's nothing to be said
But it can get a little lonesome
Maybe you should take along a friend
Like I said
And I'm never gonna tell a lie
And I'm never gonna wear a tie
And if I can't walk, maybe I can fly
Don't ask the reason why
But I'm never gonna say goodbye

"Nothing can't stop me now...

...'cause I don't care anymore..."

I realized I care for me little if not at all. It’s good to know it. And it explains a lot.

Edit : I ended up accused of being too egocentric and selfish. I’m the last one to tell anyway. Excuse my human nature. Not all of us are supermen.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The beginning of the End

On KROQ since yesterday.

And it's fucking cool :)))))))))))))))))))))))

Down on your knees,
You'll be left behind.
This is the beginning.
Watch what you think,
They can read your mind.
This is the beginning.
I got my moxie, and in my eyes
This is the beginning.
Well, my reflection I don't recognize
This is the beginning
We think we've come so high
Above all the backs we've come down
We face no consequence
This is the beginning of the end

You wait your turn,
You'll be last in line
This is the beginning
Get out the way,
Cause I'm getting mine.
This is the beginning
There are someones that can help themselves.
This is the beginning.
May be too late, as far as I can tell.
This is the beginning.
We think we've come so far,
On all our lies been taken.
They say no consequence.
This is the beginning of the end.

I just can't stop playing it - over and over and over again...I should go to bed but I can't leave my headphones down..."This is the beginning..."

Friday, March 02, 2007

Today's playlist

4 songs :

Me, I'm not
My violent heart
In this twilight

On repeat. From 8.00 AM 'till now. I need the rest of the album...please ?