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“And even when I’m right with you
I’m so far away”

I guess it’s my day for a little bit of healthy pessimism. Not to worry – it can only increase my appetite for life. As long as I see a positive side to it there’s no reason for anxiety.

Man, I just red my horoscope and it guessed again :

Daily Overview
January 31, 2007
Big emotions arrive in waves. The trick is to ride them like an expert surfer: You know there'll be a high, a low and a period in which you can coast. Once you get that down, you're pretty much set for life.

Snapshot

For the past 48 hours I played “Hurt” about 6 times. I’m listening to it as I write this. I thought I’d get tired of it but it grabs me by the throat every time leaving me heart and mind broken, purified and new.

New wallpaper

On top of the world

There’s nothing special about today. It is just a good day; a day of enjoying being me. The weather is cold, the sun is gone hiding wherever sun hides when it grows tired of looking at us but it just doesn’t matter. I feel fine.

I love that picture

1_04_07

Съвпадения на странности

Понякога ми се говори завъртяно само заради вкуса на думите в устата – като дъвка, докато изцедя и последната есенция от тях, след което ги изплювам употребени и безжизнени.

Преди време, когато претърсвах български блогове за любимата NIИ абревиатура, попаднах на блога на Sveti и си го запаметих за редовна проверка. Не защото в линковете стоеше nin.com; темите на постовете, подбора на думите, микро- и макро- погледа на това момиче от и към нея предизвикаха носталгична болка-такава бях преди време, но бях забравила, че мога да бъда все още. После я изтрих от bookmark-овете, защото се беше отдала на мълчание и предпочитах да не мисля за причините. Но тя пак се появи и то съвсем неочаквано-в коментарите от много любимо място – блога на navigo. И той не пише толкова много, колкото ми се иска, но за сметка на това чакането си заслужава. Последното е съвсем по даоистки-удовлетворението е несравнимо по-голямо когато приоритет е качеството на крайния резултат с цената на воля и време, а не какъвто и да е резултат сега и веднага.

Year Zero

It looks like the new album is almost done. There are mixing and post production to be completed but songs as songs are ready apparently. I can’t help wondering what lyrics are about. Will they be filled with anger? Will there be regrets and remorse? Doubt and fear? I remembered an old interview: “When I’m happy I have nothing to say”. I wonder if that is still valid. The music just wouldn’t have been the same if the lyrics were not the way they are. Together they make sense; together they are perfect; together…”together” is a dangerous word.
There’s no way to think differently but as a friend of someone who enters your mind every day to give you comfort; whose music is probably the most beautiful experience in your life so far and to whom for that very reason you feel enormous gratitude. I need to know my friends are happy because that makes me happy too. When you’re truly happy it is very hard to be pissed off no matter what happens.
I wonder what the lyrics are about…

Temper, temper

Huge thanks to Milla whose straightforwardness is truly inspirational.

Smoking

I am a smoker. Not proud to be; just a humble smoker. Now, I’m not retardate and there is no need to be reminded of the dreadful consequences of smoking. It is a bad thing and I won’t argue about it.
There are however other things that I consider as bad :

• unreasonable drinking
• loud talking
• explicit language
• arrogant behavior
• wearing fur
• disturbing mobile ringtones
• throwing garbage elsewhere but in a garbage can

. people screaming during HURT and SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE. You don’t do that. You just keep silent in humble gratitude for the privilege to be there

The list is exemplary. There’s no need to be too specific.

All above mentioned are not prohibited. Smoking is.

Fuck you hypocrites !

I am alive

I literally burst out of energy – life itself inspires me to be a part of it.
You had to really been there to want never to go back.
You had to really wish for death to choose life.
I’ll fight nails and teeth to keep my smile because if I slip down the easy path again this time I’ll really hate myself.

The world is welcome to enter-this time I left the door open.
Now I just can’t get enough of people.

Faith collapsing

" - Do you believe in miracles ?
- Not really. "