In a nutshell

Heard in a movie: "Never let fear win."

Victory over one’s fears tastes the sweetest and is the one victory worth fighting for.

Make a wish and meet yourself

If you could have one wish granted what would it be? The answer shows the essence of one’s true nature.

I wonder...

When people say they wouldn’t change a single thing if they could start a new, do they really believe themselves? I would change a lot-it would be against any logic and reason not to take advantage of the experience and past mistakes. Why else would one start a new just to end up in the same mess?!

Eager

At 5.30 in the morning the world seems blank-I can write whatever I want on it. To be an early bird sometimes makes me feel like a conqueror-the “I was there first” type :)))

Today's mantra

When heart is full of light there’s no room left for fear.

Talking to myself...

“The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it immensely. All art is useless.”

Oscar Wilde

And it is precisely its material uselessness that makes it essential for me. Art is for the soul what air and water and food are for the body-it sustains it alive. A man without a soul is like a plastic doll-it resembles something it isn’t. Art is what helps me endure the inevitable ugliness of life without screaming. And ugliness there is plenty. Sometimes the burden of life seems not only too heavy but absolutely meaningless to carry. And yet, from time to time, a crack appears in the solid numb routine and I’m swept away with emotions mighty as a force of nature unleashing its power. In those rare moments everything makes sense, everything falls right where it belongs and the picture is perfect in its entity. In those moments I’m in love with life and that gives me hope that I’m not dead yet to its beauty. And beauty there is-hidden like a gem in the dirt. One just has to keep digging.

Currently reading: Julian Barns- “The lemon table”. Very thorough choice of words making the usual unusual.

Ah, it was about time for such a pretentious post :)

ABP #####

I thought I should have reached the bottom long ago. Falling down is becoming boring and I’m running out of patience and strength. Why bother indeed? Christ, everything goes in cycles-does really nothing ever change?

Cool! More tour dates :)

“More NIN dates outside the US should be announced / confirmed this coming week.”

trent_reznor, about 14 hours ago from TweetDeck

Random why's

I figured out the source of my exasperation from today’s youngsters. I envy them. They are unembarrassed by the feeling of guilt that comes along (or at least I thought came along by default) as an inseparable part of moral consciousness; guilt caused by the awareness that every action has a consequence. They are free of guilt because they have no moral. They will never know how heavy the burden of remorse is and nothing will ever obstruct the voice of their necessities. I envy the freedom that gives them. They are free to do what it pleases them and their own mind let them get away with it.

How can people be so self-centered!?

Or maybe I care too little for myself?