On Monday I finally saw “The girl with the dragon tattoo” trailer. Of course I’d seen it numerous times before but on youtube while this time I saw it the way it had to be seen-in a movie theatre, on a big screen with image and sound inexorably storming all senses like an avalanche. It was a peculiar sensation-as if electricity ran through my body triggering a chain of fireworks in my nervous system. Mmm… Sometimes I fear that one day I might wake up with my heart indifferent to any uplifting emotion that makes life worth enduring. It’s good to know that day isn’t coming yet.
Although I couldn’t care less about some fairytale that allegedly has taken place some 2011 years ago I don’t mind the fairytale of love and compassion that people fall prisoners of around Christmas. So what if it doesn’t last long? So what if it’s somewhat hypocritical? At least for a week people delude themselves the world is a better place. And maybe with time they’ll tell that lie so many times they will one day make it the truth. I do know it will never happen so…but I need to believe the impossible is possible to make it through the day. And the next one. And the one after the next one. And who knows, a miracle might happen for a change.
It felt really good to play Santa for the past couple of weeks. I spent a small fortune on presents and already gave most of them away. It was priceless to see the spark of surprise and joy in people’s eyes. I can only hope at least one of them will say a little pray for me tonight. Love is the best gift one can hope for.
Things do not have to be elaborate in order to feel meaningful or valuable or just plain magical. Simplicity just clears off inner vision from petty unnecessary distractions granting all your undivided attention to the beauty of life in its hidden humble splendor. It doesn’t take much to be human. And, sadly, it takes even less not no be.
So I downloaded all IAMX albums, I listened to the music and fell in love with it; it brought me comfort and immense joy and fueled my dreams. The next step was to return the favor the only way possible-paying for it, which is, needless to say, vital for an independent band. Hmm, it didn’t run as smooth as I expected. I was half way through registering when I came to the field “country”-a drop-down menu from which I was supposed to pick Bulgaria. Guess what! Bulgaria was not on the list! Scheiße! I was 1/3 confused and 2/3 embarrassed-there was probably a good reason my country was off that list. Such as not enough legal album purchases for example. Duh! But I wasn’t going to give up so I pushed my brain and came up with a short (“keep it short, keep it simple”) but emotional letter to the girl in charge for the IAMX online shop. I didn’t hesitate to include lines such as “How am I supposed to even hope to see IAMX in my country when it’s not even on their map” and “Sure, Bulgaria still has quite a number of issues to tackle but it is nonetheless a part of this world and your site does state “We ship worldwide”. It is only in such moments that I wish I was born in another, more settled country. Anyway, in a few hours I received a very kind reply reassuring me that although Bulgaria was not one of the official options I could still place an order-I simply had to pick from the list the country nearest to mine. There were some more troubles concerning payment but finally the money transfer was confirmed and my order dispatched. Now, I do realize some people would see no point what so ever in what I am to say next but: if the merchandise indeed reaches me I’ll be very happy but I’ll consider that a bonus, an unexpected Christmas present-because I already got what I wanted which was to pay. Now my conscience is clear and I can keep on listening to my mp3 files without feeling guilty I’ve stolen them. It took the exchange of 7 emails in total (and some money...of course) but the trouble was well worth it not only for the aforementioned but also for the line Célinebothered to include in her first reply to me “Please be sure that IAMX does not forget their Bulgarian fans”.
Ah, I do hope it is so!
OK, I wrote that over the weekend and today, ah, today my order arrived! Oh, happy day :)) Thank you, Céline!
