Friday, October 31, 2014

Trick or trick?

For many people today is Halloween but for me today is the last working day for the month which means it will be tricky all the way without even a hint of a treat what so ever. But right now I couldn't care less. Yesterday one of my superiors fucked up and put the blame on me which makes him a pathetic excuse for a human being. I'm over it now and in a way I'm even glad it happened the way it happened-now I know what to expect.

What do you know? I just opened my office mail and in it there's an apology letter from him. No way. It's not like these lies accidentally fell out of your mouth. You will never be forgiven, you *****.  End of story.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Loose cannon

Today don’t stand between me and my headphones. I too have a temper and some days I'm just dying to use it.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Simple pleasures

Tonight I slept 10 hours. It does sound like a lame FB status doesn't it? :) But that's in fact quite a special occasion. I clearly remember the last time that happened. It was last November on my arrival from Munich to Hamburg after a severe sleep deprivation for 5 or 6 days in a row. And when I got to Hamburg my body finally gave up. I woke up the next morning feeling like a new person. And that's how I feel today-like I don't have a care in the world. All it took was a good night sleep. Who knew? And how to make it happen again? 

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Let it burn

I wish I had a fireplace. My home is stuffed with pieces of the past that I want to get rid of but the sentiment that goes with them stops me from vulgarly throwing them away. Burning them to ash would be a completely different story. There's purity in fire, a spiritual connotation. Not to mention symbolism and hope. Yes, the phoenix legend. The idea that death is actually a rebirth, that nothing is final, that life goes in circles and every end is a new beginning.

And if nothing of the above works the fire will give you warmth.

I can't believe almost a year passed since my first Meet and Greet with 30STM. Future was brimming with delightful expectations that grew into even more delightful memories. Can I please have that again?

Let hope burn.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Be careful what you wish for

What if you could have one wish granted? Just one but whatever you wish for would come true? You can ask for anything, nothing is off limits. What would that wish be?

There’s a story by H.G.Wells about a really fat man who desperately wanted to lose weight. He heard about a mystery shop where one could go and ask for anything. So he went and asked to “be lighter than the air”. And that is exactly what he got. Gravity stopped working for him and he flew up in the air.
Another man was bold so he asked for more hair. And he got just that-all his body hair started growing rapidly and he had to cut and shave every hour so that he wouldn't look like a werewolf.

So this one wish has to be verbalized extremely thoroughly and carefully.
Let’s say I ask for balance in the world (yes, I am the kind of person that would indeed ask for something like that) – it could end up in equal rates of births and deaths or, let’s say, half of the countries in the world to be at peace and the other half-at war.
If I ask for a moral society it could lead to a future of blind witch hunts where one word of cursing could put you in jail.
And if I ask for a world where everyone gets what one deserves, a karma ruled world…umm, the result will be terrifying I’m sure. We all make mistakes.

I would probably ask for empathy: 

Empathy is the capacity to share or recognize emotions experienced by another sentient or fictional being. One may need to have a certain amount of empathy before being able to experience accurate sympathy or compassion.

So far I don't see how that could go wrong but I'm sure there's a way.
Tricky isn't it?

So? What would it be? How would you deliver that one ultimate wish?

Saturday, October 18, 2014


I was attacked by dreams last night-a whole herd of them. Maybe 5 or 6 different dreams, non-related, extremely vivid and all in all disturbing to put it mildly. If my subconscious is trying to tell me something it really should do a better job with the script.

Kings And Queens (Shon Valen dub mix)

I totally, totally, totally love this remix! I used it in another post a few days ago but it is so gorgeous it deserves a post of its own :) 

Friday, October 17, 2014

Something in the air

Such an irrational feeling-that today is going to be a good day. It won’t be-a work day cannot be a good day. Lately work is so hectic that I have no time to answer personal emails or messages or to keep track of my 40 something FB friends’ posts-all that has to wait for the weekend. The one good thing about a work day is its end. But the day goes quite peacefully so far. It might be because I'm already so tired of people's wimps and tempers that today I have no capacity to care left.
Lately life happens only from one weekend to another. 

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Holy ****!

30 Seconds to Mars just announced a massive Russian tour scheduled for next spring. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did it have to be Russia!? Russia doesn't suit me in more than one way-I need a visa, travel expenses are too high, Russian fans are too wild (which is great from the band's point of view and anything but great for a fan). Still it's nice to know they'll be in Europe. Now I'll be checking the tour page every couple of hours. You never know so fingers crossed!

Edit: There are soundchecks available for Russia! Well, it wouldn't hurt to at least check the flights.  

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Wistful thinking

Last night the bus from work was so crowded it felt like waiting for a 30 Seconds to Mars concert…without the delightful thrill of course.

What wouldn't I give for just one more 30STM concert... I check their tour page every couple of days hoping there will be new dates added but alas!
Actually I don't know what I wouldn't give but the list would be a short one. Of course I'm happy all those concert happened; it's just that I will be very sorry if it never happens again.

Can I have one more, please? Even if it's half a year from now-I don't care, as long as I know the story doesn't end here.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014


ENTER SHIKARI will play tonight in Sofia. I want to go but I will have to pass on it because when I say tonight “night” is exactly what I mean. The band will go onstage at around midnight and given that tomorrow is a work day I cannot afford it. Damn! Being a full-time grownup is no fun at all. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

If you should pick 5 words that describe you

My 5 words would be:

# loyal
# unambitious
# hypersensitive
# responsible
# discreet

Err, I'd make an excellent servant wouldn't I? Or a dog.

Maybe I should play that game again in a few years from now-hopefully my choice will be a different one. Still it's an upgrade comparing to the way I would've described myself a decade ago. 

Is there a reasonable correlation between the decay of the body and the perfection of the spirit with age? As compensation-the way after the loss of one of the senses the performance of the others heightens? Life would be much different if it were so-with much less family grudges if not else. It's a pity that something so wonderful as the human spirit should be trapped in such an imperfect perishable shell.


I can't believe that one day I will get old. Really old I mean. I know it's coming and, unless in case of an unforseeable event, it will happen as surely as night follows day but for the life of me I can't picture it nor I can accept it. "Live fast and die young." I am not the hasty type but sometimes leaving the show before the curtain falls doesn't seem much of a tragedy.

I just can't accept that one day the mirror will reflect an image different from what I see now. Will that still be me? Will I still want to be me?

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Daily inspiration


Wednesday, October 08, 2014

Beautiful lie

I saw that somewhere: Try to focus not on the dirt around you but on the beauty that thrives in spite of it.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014


Lately my dreams at night are far more exciting than my day life. No wonder I can’t wait for bedtime.

Sunday, October 05, 2014


I should feel good about myself. 
As of today Jina-one of the three dogs I feed, has a roof over her head. My parents spend their retirement in a village not far from Sofia. Their dog, Lara, passed away a couple of years ago and her dog house was sitting uselessly empty in the yard. Since today is an election day and my parents had to drive to Sofia anyway I talked my father into bringing the doghouse to the office where I work and where Jina is. And so it happened and now Jina will be safe from rain and snow. She still doesn't realize it is her doghouse now but I'm sure she'll get it at the first rain-she is smart. All stray mongrels are.
I should feel good about myself. But it never seems good enough.

Friday, October 03, 2014


Happiness is of a transient nature-and so must be the lack of it, or the feeling of the lack of it. Nothing is solid so it should be possible to rebuild your world anew on demand. Safety is an illusion making it easy to recreate it whenever you want for as long as you want.

Red pill, blue pill - life is too short to give a fuck about that. I'll willingly embrace anything that would send my mind into oblivion-the way this tune does. 

Wednesday, October 01, 2014


I'm tired of petty fights. If you can't say something good then please, keep quiet. All I need today is to get lost in a dream. Please, don't disturb (much).