All that could have been

All that could have been is not to be regretted for because if it had been then all that has really been wouldn’t have happened. I hope my meaning can still be seen through the tense mess. The point is it’s not about losing but gaining and getting. All that could have been appeals better simply because by default it remains an unfulfilled dream, an ultimate fantasy. When there are choices to choose from there’s a place for that ugly oppressing feeling of being cheated because you can put all the choices to a test and there will always be something missed. The trick is to learn to let go all the might-have-beens; the trick is to choose living in the real world and enjoy what you already have.

Basically I would agree with me…if it wasn’t for the madness of the last few days that I managed to survive by hiding in my fantasies pretending the reality is just a bad dream that has gone a little bit too far. There were(and still are) so many things I had to do and so many things I wanted to do: some blog writing, answering to comments and PMs from The Spiral, keeping up with threads on The Spiral and ETS, working on my myspace profile, meeting some 3-dimentional friends etc etc etc...and I have no energy nor strength to do any of it. I’m dead tired.

I hadn’t been listening to the 5 YZ leaks for days-no time. And I missed them so much as if they were long gone dear friends. In a way that is true. And the lyrics...they speak to me now; I don't have words to tell how glad that makes me feel.

No particular reason for placing that image here – I just like to look at it.