To have or to have not

Another E.-.Schmitt's book was recently published in Bulgarian-"The dreamer from Ostende". In the title story the protagonist suffers a heartache and leaves for the remote city of Ostende just to get away from everything that reminds him of the object of his unrealized passion. There he rents a room in a cottage and his landlord-an old lady, asks him about the reason of his stay. He's open about his romantic misfortune and (I took the liberty to summarize their conversation in two lines):
- Do you think my broken heart will heal here?
-If it heals then it wasn't worth it to begin with.

Do we really want what we want or do we want it simply because we still don't have it? And when is it enough?

My mother is what?! :)

As of last night my mother is a Combichrist fan. Yeah…

To cut the short story shorter: lately I’m not exactly Miss Sunshine and yesterday it felt like a good time for bonding so I asked my mother “Um, do you remember last week I was excited about a gig I went to? Are you curious to listen to the band?” She said “OK, why not?” So I handed to her my mp3 player and the headphones and played “Fuck that shit”.

And she absolutely loved it!

She loved it so much that she listened to a few more tracks and then she asked me to upload the whole album on her mp3 player.

Ha! I probably should’ve seen it coming but then again how could I? :)

Maybe I should mention that she doesn't speak English. And if she asks for translation I will firmly decline the request :)

"Pretty pictures like you"

Finally! A gallery of very good pictures from the Combichrist gig in Sofia. Nice job! Now it will be easier for me to replay in my mind the mayhem that night was. I almost regret that by now the pain in my muscles is gone :)

Is it too late to become a roadie?

I get somewhat uneasy as I remember how much fun I had at the Combichrist gig the other day. Uneasy because it was yet another confirmation of what has already become crystal clear to me-that concerts are what I get most kicks from and that nothing else gives me as much pleasure and happiness as a good show. And right now there isn't a single concert on the horizon.

Is this how it is going to be from now on? All work and no play? Trent Reznor is not likely to tour again-he said so in a very recent interview. Jared Leto will be busy making movies, not to mention a new album is due meaning a tour within the next 2 or maybe even 3 years is out of the question. And since NIN and 30STM are the only bands I am willing to travel for I face the unpleasant inevitability of a concert-less future. Meh!

I could, of course, travel for the sake of traveling. I already considered that possibility-and I didn't like it, I didn't like it at all. You see, a concert trip is a trip with a purpose. I'm under a deadline, on a tight schedule and that gives an edge of excitement to everything that I go through while abroad. And even if that "everything" happens to be boring, exhausting or, in some cases, downright unpleasant there is a guaranteed prize at the end-the show. A concert trip means I'm on a mission and the perspective to transport myself thousands of kilometers away from home just to make pictures of already overly photographed old buildings, no matter how beautiful, holds no thrill for me.

So I must find myself a mission. There are some ideas that might work. Like to explore Berlin Gothic shops-if there are any left because almost all have gone online by now. And there's that still unfulfilled dream go to Wave-Gothic Treffen in Leipzig-it is about time to check it as "done". I'm sure I will love every second of it. If only I could find an accomplice... Hm, that is actually a great idea. I could make use of the few dead months of winter by looking for volunteers. OK, wish me luck. Or better join me :)

Enchanted I was ("I love electroheads")

Combichrist @ Mixtape5, Sofia, November 12 2014

Yeah, it is the awkwardest of words to be used when it comes to a Combichrist gig but it was my first Combichrist gig and I was truly and completely enchanted :)

Damn, my neck hurts! Last night I headbanged as if I was performing exorcism-just as devotedly and with such a passion as if someone's life was at stake. And the metaphor isn't that far fetched-my demons are nowhere to be seen; or heard. Now it's just me and my stiff neck :)

Andy live is a very impressive guy with tangible physical presence-something you can't escape noticing when you're 1-st row and his tattooed body is hovering over your head. Add to that those intoxicating beats and ominous vocals and you'll get the picture. Or probably not because a Combichrist gig has to be experienced first hand-and foot, and sweat, and lungs.

In a nutshell-it was phucking fantastic! It was totally worth the three hours of waiting in the cold outside the club . Remember, kids-there's no substitute for 1-st row ;)

Whatever gets me through the night

Tonight-it’s Combichrist; tomorrow and the day after tomorrow-I’m off work. The long-term future is still fucked up but the short-term future looks bright. And noisy :)

MTV EMA 2014-"Best Alternative"

Well, that'a a good way to start the week!

Last night 30 Seconds to Mars won the MTV EMA 2014 for "Best Alternative". Congratulations, guys! And congratulations, Echelon! The Echelon might not be the most zealous of all fans but they surely are in the Top 5 :) Well done!

"Feed your anger"

My definition for “relaxing music”:

Throw back

After surviving the worst working week I've had, very possibly ever, I had to work on Saturday as well. And now, on Sunday, I'm finally at my favorite café, looking at and listening to the people around and it feels odd to be reminded that there is life outside the office. It's frightening to realize how easy it is to lose perspective. I can't be a good person when my nervous system is crashing. The thought that tomorrow I have to go to work again sickens me, literally. 
You know, if new European shows are to be announced it better happen now-I have to know why I am putting up with all that shit at work. In a nutshell-if there's a carrot intended for me there's no better moment than the present to have it.. Enough with the sticks.

Right where it belongs

“what if all the world's inside of your head
just creations of your own?
your devils and your gods all the living and the dead
and you're really all alone
you can live in this illusion
you can choose to believe
you keep looking but you can't find the woods
while you're hiding in the trees”

Sometimes a song can save your life. Or it could seem so but is there really a difference?