Oh
dear, I fear the Italy trip is going to be a logistic nightmare. Italians are notorious
for their lighthearted attitude to punctuality-a trait that can cause an unwanted frustration to say the least when you have to
race against time:
July 12th – flight Sofia-Milan;
train Milan-Florence-Lucca
July 14th – train Lucca-Florence-Padova
July 15th – train Padova-Milan;
flight Milan-Sofia
It doesn't look like such a big deal at first-not until I look at the timetables just to see that I’ll have to split
the seconds in half and I have no idea if it can work at all because I am not
sure if Italians have the same perception of how long a second lasts as I do.
How am I to buy online train tickets when I have no idea if the plane will land
on time? And it keeps on getting worse! A fresh info update: the concert on July 14th is not actually in Padova-it's in Piazzola sul Brenta which is a small town 15 km from Padova. Try to find ANY information on how to get from Padova to Piazzola sul Brenta. I found zero, nothing, niente! I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, like literally. Never again Italy, never! Help! These concerts better be worth it. But they will be. I only need to remember Berlin to know so. This must be just another test and I have every intention to pass it no matter the cost. As the lyrics go: dreams must be won. So be it.
Yesterday was nice, warmly
nice, soothingly nice. And today… Looks like yesterday I’ve burned all my
positive energy and today I have to start from scratch. Can I go back to bed
and pretend it’s still yesterday? I can't play nobody's hero today. Nothing around me makes sense-as if I'm watching a freak show. "One day it'll all just end..." I need a hug.
My day began at 4.30 AM
with “Closer to the edge” on MTV Rocks. That's what a call "a good timing" :)
Happy birthday to me :)And I know exactly what I'd wish for: always to be at the right place at the right time. Funny thing: you know what people were telling me today? "Keep on being so cheerful, positive and smiling." I must have really changed. And that's a good thing.
Music is my personal safety net to catch me when life happens to push me over the
edge. And every amazing concert experience makes it 10 times stronger. It is as simple as that. I'm not mad-I have dreams. Pity that to some people those are one and the same.
Considering the madness of the last 5 days I’m surprisingly zen and unreasonably optimistic-as if just for the sake of it . Did I become
wiser or simply number?
And what’s with the horoscopes I’m getting lately that sound the same
but only with slight variations?"For the next two or three years, you'll be moved to help
the charity or cause of your choice -- official or unofficial. Remember that
whatever we do comes back to us ninefold. Think of it as a karmic investment."That’s not a horoscope, that’s a sentence. Investment you say? So I have to wait until retirement? Now, if it sounds like you're being cheated then...
Phui. I need a break. Or an advance. Let me at least smell the carrot.
People…, some days you
make loving you really hard. Am I really the only one that cares? Some questions arise; disturbing questions that demand answers-any answers.
I was thinking about the
meaning of my name and I realized: it fits me quite well. I do believe. I believe
that life holds a few good surprises for me yet to come. And in the meantime I must do my best to
deserve them.
No, I am not talking
about karma. Karma is for the hopeless.
“And the story goes
ooooooooooooon”. I can’t wait to hear the rest of it.
Somewhere at the end of the concert (yes, the 6th of June
concert; and I’ll probably be raving about it until the next one I’m going
to) what looked like millions of pieces of paper clippings were blown into the air above our heads
like a shower of snowflakes. Two of them stuck on my T-shirt and I put them in
my pocket. On one of them is simply printed the name of the new album:
The other one, however, is hilarious:
I should’ve collected more. Next time, perhaps…ah, I’m so thrilled there
will be a next time!
30 SECONDS TO MARS at Zitadelle Spandau, Berlin, June 6th 2013
a.k.a. “A trial by fire”
I went, I saw, I was
conquered :)
Hereby are my rants and incoherent jabber as recorded in my journal on June 7, the day after the concert:
“A million little pieces we’ve broken into
A million little pieces I’ve stolen from you”
Take all invigorating emotions there can be, mix them together and it still
won’t be enough to tell how it felt to be at that concert.
It was…first let me take a napkin or I might drool all over the keyboard
;) What?! Delusional I get now and then but one thing I am not is insensitive…and
neither I am blind. It was…
OK, slow down and start from the beginning.
The hour on my ticket said “7 PM” meaning that’s when the opening band
goes on stage; 30STM take the stage at 8 PM. Good. I went to the venue at 2 PM
assuming that since it was Thursday kids would be at school and the rest-at
work. “Ah, 2 PM might be too early; there will be probably not more than 20
people waiting.” Ha! There were 200 already, some of them apparently had slept
there-the place looked like a camping ground. What the …!? Goodbye, first row,
farewell; I hope we’ll meet some day. There was nothing I could do but to take
a deep breath, face the facts and take my place in the line under the burning
sun. They let us in after 6 PM and the whole time I had to stand upright and
without moving-the ground was way too dirty and shortly after there was already
nowhere to sit anyway. As I expected, my back started to ache-a maddening pain I
was prepared for so I drank the painkiller I had in my pocket. Guess what-it
didn’t work as it was supposed to :( You know what sucked the most? Everyone
was with someone; everyone but me. If it sounds like I felt miserable the
impression is accurate-the situation looked hopeless and deliverance was
nowhere to be seen. And I didn’t see it because it was behind me the whole
time-a sweet German girl called Jenny who was alone too (!) and introduced herself.
I stopped short from throwing myself on her neck but admitted she was the
answer to my prayers (as it turned out it was likewise for her). We kept each other
company and watched each other’s backs-an essential point to surviving a rock
concert. Once inside we were lucky once again-we made it to 6th row which was quite close to the stage-not bad, not bad at all, considering the number of sold tickets was 10 000! We stuck together for as long as we could because the crowd…
The crowd was vicious, furious and insane. I don’t blame them. 30STM’s
music doesn’t suggest that of course but the cult of personality surely does. Everybody
wanted a piece of Jared-and now I totally understand why. There’s so much charm one can
take without giving in and the charm on display was off everybody’s limits :) I’ve been to big
concerts, to more than one, but it felt as if that one was my first. I was
pushed, I was squeezed, I was out of breath, I was stepped on, today every
muscle in my body demands attention-but I don’t care! The concert was worth
EVERYTHING! Jared on stage, in flesh and blood, is simply incredible. You have
to see it to believe it. The guy is 100 % present, committed and giving. You can clearly see he's not there just to do his job and leave-he's there to make you feel good, damn good. And the
ease with which he rules the crowd is simply stunning. I sang my lungs out, I screamed
and shouted, I was in love with every person present there (somehow I don’t
think it was mutual ;) ), I jumped when I was told to, I clapped and waved my hands in the
air when I was told to-I was like a puppet on strings and obeying orders never
felt so delightful. And the music…oh, 30STM live sound smashing! Pure magic of the utmost delicious kind :)
I feel privileged to have been there. In a nutshell-I lived my dream and
I’m damn proud of myself that no matter how bumpy and exhausting the whole ride was I
stood my ground and made it to the end without giving up. Today I’m tired, sleepy
as hell and shamelessly happy. And I can tell from experience that 30 SECONDS TO
MARS have probably the most devoted fans I've ever met and rightfully so-the band have earned
it and fully deserve it. Once is not enough; I don’t think a hundred times will
be enough either. It is addictive-happiness, that is; to feel rapturous and intoxicated with joy. Guys, I am your fan for life.
Truly yours,
V
P.S. As for the pain in my back-I remember that Jared came on stage, I remember
that we all screamed as one and the show started. What I don’t remember is the
pain-it was gone. P.S. #2
Jenny, I and Aki minutes before the concert started. Is that a happy face or what? :)
My Italian “affair” in July finally began to take shape. The return
flight to Milan
is booked; the train schedules Milan-Lucca, Lucca-Padova, Padova-Milan are
printed. There’s so much more research to be done but the dream looks a bit
closer already. Oops-did I miss to mention it? I bought tickets to another two 30 SECONDS TO MARS concerts-July 13 in Lucca, July 14 in Padova. I can not hold myself-it's beyond my control :) The things we do for a single gleam of happiness...
The post-gig depression – just as I expected and yet sooner than I hoped.The only remedy is to put my finger on another concert and start dreaming
again.
Coming back is never easy.I need to sleep for a week at least.Ah, a
dream fulfilled-and in the most delightful way!God, the Berlin show was so great! One is as big as one's dreams. Then this planet just isn't big enough for me...but it'll do :)
Pre-travel anxiety. I can’t help it. Next I’ll
probably start to bite my nails.
I have one wish; please? The world to sit quietly just
for the next few days. No strikes, no fights, no floods, no unfortunate upheavals
of any kind. Just for a few days, hmm? So I could go to Berlin, have the time
of my life and come back. And then, sure, feel free to ride the highway to hell
once again. All I’m asking for is a short break from madness. I hope that's not too greedy. Thank you.
The Berlin
show is sold out. My ticket seems even more precious now. Of course I’m glad
all tickets are gone but…that’s 10 000 people in one place and that's a lot of people! I’ll have
to go to the venue early, like 2 PM, maybe even earlier, to assure a spot at the rail. I wonder if there will be other Bulgarians too. I wonder what 30 seconds to Mars fans will be like-friendly? hostile? co-operative? aloof? helpful? selfish? It is frustrating to know you have to depend on the mercy of strangers. Oh, man, June 6th
will be an endless day.Just thinking about all those long hours of waiting, alone,
in uncertainty, makes me dizzy. I've been through that many times with NIN but experience will not make it easier. Please, let it be a killer show!
The silhouette
of a fresh green treetop against a penetratingly blue sky creates such a
stunning contrast that each time I’m left with the impression I've just
witnessed a miracle.
Oh, now I get it. Less than a month left until my next birthday. No wonder
I feel like the end of the world is coming-a theoretically reversible feeling
but facts have their brutal way of beating the crap out of a good delusion. I woke
up still/already so tired that I don’t have the energy even to dream.
I wish I wasn't going to Berlin
alone. There’s no chance it will go flawless and it’s just that now I am not so
confident I will take that well.
