My day is ruined

Well, why limit myself?! My year is fucked! New concert dates have been announced over the night and let’s say I’m not quite pleased with the locations. North America. How the fuck am I to put myself voluntarily under the humiliating interrogations at the American embassy to get a visa?! How am I going to explain the purpose of my going? How am I to prove I am not a potential immigrant, that I don’t intend to stay illegally and that the only reason for my visit is a rock concert? Maybe I should bring over my entire NiN CD collection, my Spiral ID and my NiN guitar pick?

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

A couple of nights ago I played the AATCHB DVD. I actually wanted to play only one song; March of the pigs. Half an hour later I was still watching and tears were rolling down my face like a river. No wonder I’m crushed.

touched

Little fluffy clouds

Have you ever had that feeling that you are on the verge of screaming and you fear that maybe you won’t be able to stop it?

There.

Eyes wide open. It’s either a scream or tears. Hit me on the head, please. It would hurt less.

Choking suffocating feeling of helplessness.

Look at the sky-so big and blue, so limitless, so peaceful. No, don’t look down. Keep your eyes on the sky.

Ha, one of the clouds looks like that giant four-fingered hand reaching down from above. I love stormy clouds.

I need a hug. A tight hug, tight enough to take my breath away for good.

Exciting performance news!

Absolutely…for all the North Americans, that is. A few days ago the title appeared on nin.com and I rushed to the performance section enthusiastically (of course!) just to find that so far NiN are scheduled to perform only at Pemberton festival in British Columbia, Canada.

Forgive me if I am not THAT excited.

Well, at least he is considering concerts. That is something to hold on to. God, I hate to wait!

An update at 3.30 PM:

Trent Reznor has given an interview to Zane Lowe of BBC Radio 1 on March 17^th and I just read the transcription. Among other ghostly things he speaks little about his “future plans”:

TRENT: …I’m working on some new material right now, and we have some dates planned to play this year, I can’t get into too much details about it… We’re reassembling the new band, and lots of things going on – there’s no vacation that's in mind for at least another year+ for me…

ZANE: Yeah, I know, I’ve heard that you effectively going to disband the line-up that's been with you for quite some time - it must be quite – to walk away from that outfit as it stood. It’s quite an interesting decision…

TRENT: well, the bones of it are still in place... I mean, to be quite frank, it’s reassessing what Nine Inch Nails is and trying to make sure it stays true to who I am as a person, at the age I’m at right now, and feels relevant and has meaning to me…

ZANE: So you're gonna grow beard and form an acoustic band? Is it what… is it?

TRENT: I didn’t want it to come out… to give it away right now… but… OK (laughing)

Alright…let’s see.

42?

Yesterday’s fortune slip: “Don’t go into battle with someone who is not your match”. And how did I paraphrase it? “Oh, I must control my temper and avoid fights with people who are weaker than I am; I must not take advantage of those who are less fortunate than me”. I can smell stupidity in an ocean of fancy words; and when I do I chase it like a shark and kill it in a single snap. At least I used to; I taught myself to be more merciful.

What happened to the girl I used to be-dressed in funeral black, waiting for the end of the world, grumpy all the time because it wasn’t coming fast enough? How come now people think of me as of a cheerful, positive, even a light-headed person? Do you think it’s easy? It ain’t. The easiest thing is to say “The hell with everything!”. As tempting as it is I can’t afford that immature attitude anymore.

I realize I am a very lucky girl with a life peaceful and secure enough to allow me the freedom to create for myself imaginary problems, to choose the reasons for the discontent that gives at least some romantic texture to my basically ordinary existence.

Dignity, style and grace

It can’t be taught or faked. Dignity is not a pose while you sit still waiting for the photographer to take the picture; it’s a way of thinking, the attitude you ooze. It’s not about appearance; you can be a lady even when you’re in jeans and sneakers. Dignity is to look people straight in the eyes and keep your head high. It’s not an “I matter more than you” issue; it’s an “I matter” issue.

Today's photo catch

Who says I have grown up? :)

The last time I sat at Coffee House I chose the corner table next to the book shelf:

It can be seen on this picture-the book of Andersen’s tales illustrated by Christian Birmingham. Amazing art work! I love fairy-tales but those illustrations made me gasp with surprise and filled me with admiration. Beautiful!

The Snow Queen

Pretty lights

Creating GHOSTS I-IV

A personal “GHOSTS” update

Today it clicked. I had that paralyzing sensation as if some invisible hand has grabbed me by the throat cutting off the strings that keep me attached to the common 3 dimensional world of “see-hear-touch” and throwing me into the depths of an unknown still fascination.

I knew it was coming and yet the actual happening was a shock. It always is. I always wonder if he can do it again.

He did it again.

ИIИE IИCH ИAILS: GHOSTS I-IV

TR is not a human. He's too brilliant to be a human.
I miss his voice though :(