42?

Yesterday’s fortune slip: “Don’t go into battle with someone who is not your match”. And how did I paraphrase it? “Oh, I must control my temper and avoid fights with people who are weaker than I am; I must not take advantage of those who are less fortunate than me”. I can smell stupidity in an ocean of fancy words; and when I do I chase it like a shark and kill it in a single snap. At least I used to; I taught myself to be more merciful.

What happened to the girl I used to be-dressed in funeral black, waiting for the end of the world, grumpy all the time because it wasn’t coming fast enough? How come now people think of me as of a cheerful, positive, even a light-headed person? Do you think it’s easy? It ain’t. The easiest thing is to say “The hell with everything!”. As tempting as it is I can’t afford that immature attitude anymore.

I realize I am a very lucky girl with a life peaceful and secure enough to allow me the freedom to create for myself imaginary problems, to choose the reasons for the discontent that gives at least some romantic texture to my basically ordinary existence.