Of senses

Yesterday, a month after its premiere, I finally saw “Life of Pi”. Oh dear, I’m still shaken. I think I want to see it again. Not only I want to but as if I need to/ have to/must.

Talking to myself

I was wondering what I should write about this video but then it occurred to me: “I don’t have to explain myself-neither here nor anywhere. I love the video and that covers it all. As long as I feel good about something my conscience needs no one else’s approval.”

Crossed

Yesterday I felt betrayed by a friend. And it wasn’t the first time that she made me feel that way. It’s not that she’s intentionally mean-she’s just naturally selfish. Reason tells me I shouldn’t be mad at her. I don't have the right to blame her for being who she is; after all it’s not people's fault they don’t live to my wishful expectations.

It’s just that reason can not appeal to a shaken heart-not mine at least. When I’m hurt I do not care that it will make me stronger; I only care for the pain to go away.

As I remember from a song: “I can not forgive – just forget.”

Impossible/ improbable

I just lost a bet…hooray!

Some time ago (in a galaxy…no, it was in Costa café) I made a bet with a friend (a person I still consider a friend but he no longer takes me for one…OK, that was irrelevant). We argued if TR would ever tour again. I said he wouldn’t; my friend said he would. The bet was due to expire on December 31^st 2015.

And today I learned that HTDA will play this year’s Coachella festival.

Sure, a single appearance is hardly a tour; and HTDA is not NIN. And yet I am happy to have lost.

Tensive

It feels like I’m living on borrowed time and any moment now someone is going to knock on my door to claim it back.

*********

Hmm, it just occurred to me that I could fight back. Remembering that the future is optional makes me feel somewhat better. 

Intermittence

The sun is shining, the weather feels spring-like and the air smells of frivolity. It’s wonderful, even vital to forget it’s winter if only for a day. My spirit craves for the caress of hope.

Inspirit

I had forgotten about the power of music. I had forgotten that it could heal a bruised soul, that it could shield a fragile heart, that it could lift the spirit high above the mundane dirt.

Poor is the man who has never felt that power.

Blessed is the man who has never needed it.

So shall it be

I can’t wait for today to end and give way to tomorrow that would end in its turn and so the weekend would come…and stay?  Please, can it stay and never leave?

Winter melancholy

“If you should die”…

As if it's a matter of choice.

Brrrrrr

And yet another nightmare. In it I was screaming in horror. I woke up…just to realize I was still screaming; for real.  I wonder if I laugh for real when I have a beautiful dream.

Should I buy a dream catcher?

In search

I searched YouTube for some decent industrial music but I found none. None! I listened to tons of crap and only one song caught my attention but the good impression lasted for about a minute – promising intro and disappointing follow-up. I also looked in vampirefreaks.com – nothing as well. The definition for “industrial” has apparently drastically changed over the years. I don’t give a shit about jet-black latex outfits and gothic make-up. I absolutely love that crazy cyber-industrial-gothic image but I’m not 16 to be interested in hanging posters on my wall-I need quality music! 
So frustrating.

Circular

The day began with the end of a dreadful nightmare that was too elaborate, too vivid and seemed to last unnecessarily long. I’ve never been happier to return to reality. But, alas, happiness is a perishable commodity.