Betrayal
I will remember the date November 27th-the day I finally gave up on someone that I used to think about as of a friend. She’s dead for me now with no chance for an appeal. End.
Betrayal...it’s as if your own dog bites your hand while you feed him-it is hard to tell apart surprise from pain. And it hurts, damn it hurts! It comes unexpected; it penetrates your soul and remains inside like a poisonous thorn. I’m trying to pull it out but it is stuck. It’s aimed to kill because it ruins your trust in people and without trust…
How could I be so wrong about that…serpent?! I deleted her from my icq contact list; I deleted her phone number. I can take devious behavior from outsiders; but when it comes from people that I have invited to share my mind it is nothing but a betrayal and I can not forgive that; just forget.
When she had problems with her numerous boyfriends, when she was lonely, when her father was driving her insane with his affairs who was she whining to?
The good thing is that (if I have to look for a positive side in that situation and I really have to for my own sake) I’m not drowned in self-pity. I feel nothing but anger that I’m going to swallow and a desire for a payback that I won’t let fade away. Justice must be served and it shall be. I can wait. Does that make me a bad person? No; it means that enough is enough.
Indeed acceptance is the way to deal with such crises caused by the imperfection of the involved human factor. Once there is no room for doubt the truth, no matter how hideous, becomes a closed chapter; a past.
Current mood : Releived
posted by balance at
11:52 AM
4 Comments:
Ohhh Vera!! Are you mirroring my life?
I had to say good bye too. I tried to cut all bridges with the Highway Viking but it is hard because I don't want to but I have to. And it is hard because he has become someone I cannot recognise any more.
A bond of trust has been abused
Something of value,may be lost
I “play” that song in my mind a lot lately, hoping that someone else’s experience will help me to explain the unexplainable: How could I have been so wrong about that person?! But my case is nothing like yours. I recently read that: “Friends do not ask for your money; they only ask for your time”. That was the problem with my ex-best friend: she was completely ignoring me for months and I finally said to myself "I am going to beg for her attention never again!"; it happened a few times and I was declined; it was humiliating. It took her just a half of day of her own medicine to come running to me; now things look good but we’ll see for how long.
Unfortunately your friendship with HV has encountered an insuperable obstacle and no matter how hard I try I can think of no solution to your problem; I suppose you can neither. You can only close that door and never look back. It’s so sad…I really wish I could help :(
How could you be so wrong?... I don'tknow really,but I think it is just like the way you get used to your parents - they may have disadvantages but you know them and you can't judge them for things you principally don't like. Once you have realized you don't like certain things for a friend of yours maybe it is getting harder to accept and live with them.The difference is that friends may come and go but parents stay and you keep loving them.
Sleep well!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home