"Home"

Yesterday ended without my cable TV being restored and, because today is Sunday, there was still no signal in the morning. So I had to choose another DVD to entertain myself. Today it was the other Nine Inch Nails live DVD - "And all that could have been" from the Fragile tour.

In two consecutive days I saw the miserable Trent and the resurrected Trent. About the latter I am happy beyond any doubt. But my heart goes with the former. It is hard to associated with successful people (and by "success" I don't mean money or awards or fame). Trent Reznor back then was a fallen angel, a martyr, a wretched hero from a twisted fairytale. He was one of us - the voiceless ones, the forgotten ones, the ones who didn't fit in, the ones who desperately wanted to belong. Yes, being a NIN fan back then was pretty close to religion.

I just listened to the entire "The Fragile" album. It felt like a revelation. But I'm glad these days are long gone. Let's say it wasn't a happy time.

Trent, I wish I could pay you back for everything you've done for me without even knowing about it. Unfortunately all I can do is to offer my anonymous gratitude and loyalty.

I chose that blog title for a good reason, you know. It turned out the reason was still valid.

Nine Inch Nails: The Frail / The Wretched live (2002) from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.