White lie

Yesterday in a fan-made music video I saw a picture allegedly taken from deviantart. It portrayed a teddy bear toy situated on the pavement in a sitting position. Next to it lay the head of another teddy bear toy and the rest of its body was drawn on the pavement with chalk. The idea was quite simple but the final result bore a powerful emotional impact. So this morning I tried to locate that picture (to no avail alas!) but in the search process I had to rest my eyes on countless images of lonely, abandoned teddy bears helplessly waiting for a friend that most likely will never be there for them. It all got me quite depressed. Yes, I am aware those were toys on those images, man-made objects with no soul. And yet the allusion with broken innocence was too direct for me to preserve objectivity. And just as I was about to dive head first into my private pool of sorrow and self-pity I remembered my own words that I posted just yesterday. That’s why I pulled myself together (what was left of me at lest), disguised in my best smile and went out to make sure that life goes on. So far I’m doing pretty well. However I found out that to keep a positive attitude just for the sake of it takes quite an effort. No wonder it’s not very popular. Lie may be considered a sin but, as the truth and error trial has proved over the years, to lie to yourself is sometimes a vital necessity. Who knows-some day I might even believe myself.