March 21st 2007 – The beginning of the end ?

Written in my diary on March 21st 2007 :

Departure at 7 AM, Sofia Airport.

At the customs I had to take off my shoes again because the metal detectors went crazy. What else can you expect from STEEL combat boots ?!

This time we’re flying above the clouds-feels like surfing on a white cotton blanket. I miss the night view and the constellations of city lights like scattered gems beneath us.

A funny thing happened when I was boarding the plane. It was a Bulgarian flying company and Bulgarian crew. The air-hostess at the entrance was greeting the passengers “Good morning” in Bulgarian but when I came up to her she looked at me and said “Good morning” in...English. Did she assume I was a foreigner? And if so was that meant to be a complement?

To say I’m scared would be as referring to Eiffel Tower as to “tall construction”. I wiped a few tears at the gateway. While we were waiting for a take off permission I was thinking “WTF am I doing ?! I must be crazy !”. But then I realized it was March 21st and tonight there was going to be a concert and I would be waiting once again in front of the venue looking at other Spiralers to enter. And that maybe...what if...just what if...yeah, right, as if it can happen...
And the thought of the tonight’s show made me forget my worries. I guess that counts as a clear evidence that I am crazy indeed :))

I wasn’t mistaken !!! The air-hostess keeps thinking I am a foreigner ! I didn’t want to disappoint her by revealing the truth.

It’s easy to find your way at the Amsterdam airport but getting from there to the city was not as simple as I’d hoped. First thing to do was to buy a 3 day ticket for the public transport(absolutely useless as it turned out later on) and it was then that I asked probably one of the stupidest questions that girl at the tourist center had ever heard in her life: “How do I pay for crossing the cannals?” She looked at me in disbelief and said: “You don’t. It’s free.” I’d been under the (apparently wrong)impression that Amsterdam cannals are very wide and had to be crossed by a boat. Huh...

I finally managed to find the right train to the city and got at the Centraal station. Now, my confirmation for reservation at the hostel included some very simple instructions which tram to take, which stop to get off and how to proceed from there. Things went wrong of course and I found myself in front of a big shining hotel and the only person to ask was the door-keeper. I left my huge traveling bag on the ground and asked where Vossiusstraat was. The man not only answered but also lifted my bag, pulled its telescopic handle, put it in my hand and basically treated me like a royalty. Welcome to Amsterdam !

2 PM
So here I am finally at the Flying Pig Palace. I’m sitting in the hostel’s bar, drinking cappuccino with my first cigarette for that day…and my hands are shaking. I keep telling myself it’s all worth it but right now I feel a strong urge to pack my bag and rush back home. My head hurts as hell, only strangers around and I’m so terribly frightened. I don’t even look at people. I know I’ll have to leave the safety of the hostel and go out but I’m still quite reluctant to do it.

How come no one told me the rooms in the hostel were mixed !?! I’m in a room with 3 other people; as I was unpacking a guy came out of the bathroom, smiled and said “Hi, I’m Dan from Canada. I’m sleeping on that bed” and I was like “Huh ?!?”. So that boy was doing an European trip for a month. So far he had been to Germany, France and I don’t remember where else but that was his final point-a week in Amsterdam. He asked why I’ve come here and I said “To see a rock concert”. “Cool. Which band?” And when I said I’ve come to see Nine Inch Nails Dan got insane ! It turned out he had seen them a couple of years ago in the USA. He’s been aware they were in Europe but it slipped his mind. I told him about the fan club and the possibility of Meet&Greet and that if he wanted he could enter as my guest. Such a lovely boy! He was with me the whole afternoon-we spent an hour at the Central station waiting for my turn to buy a train ticket to Berlin, then did a little walk around the town and then we waited at Paradiso with the other Spiralers. Unfortunately Brandy came with a sad news “We were planning to have a sound check but now it’s off”. Don’t come and tell us that ! I’m so glad Dan kept me company-I don’t know how I would’ve survived my first day away from home without him! Tomorrow we’ll go to wait in the Spiral line at about 3.30 PM.

I bought a disposable camera and so far I took just 2 pictures-the tour buses and the stage trucks of course. I’ll have to take a picture of the Spiralers too.

I hope I haven’t caught a cold this afternoon-the wind was very strong and cold with occasional showers.

I wonder if any of the FPP guests is here for the same reason as me.

Thank God for the Internet ! I’ve received comments on my blog from friends and that made feel a lot better. Whenever I feel down in the next 10 days I'll just have to remember there are people that care for me and take to heart what happens with me. And there’ll be plenty of occasions for me to seek comfort.

I do want it to be worth all the troubles; and I don’t mean just the accommodation and travel troubles though they are to blame for my frustration.

11.30 PM - I should get some rest at last.